You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize