i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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