just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
