White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
