somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
