I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
