Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
