Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
