new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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