OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I want her autograph on my taint
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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