my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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