which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
