My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My dick has a subreddit
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
