You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
