I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
