508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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