Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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