i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
