I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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