My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
