whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
