I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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