Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
