remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
