I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
