love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Houston, we have a squirter
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
