don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
