We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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