Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
