dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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