I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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