We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
