Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
