so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
