Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
