you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
