Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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