I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize