You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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