Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize