All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Found your dick twin last night
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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