so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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