no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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