Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
