yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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