can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
