i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
