id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
my liver is dry heaving
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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