i don't like sucking hair
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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