it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
3 2 1 whiskey
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
