i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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