i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
