you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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