So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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