Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
