So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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