Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
