Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
