dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
