i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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