Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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