I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
