Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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